Thursday, May 31, 2012

I'm Back, Baby!

The last two weeks have been kind of rough.  My daughter graduated the 8th grade last week.


  My mom and step-dad came in from the West Coast to see her and my niece walk across the stage.  This meant a lot of family get-togethers and when my family gets together it always involves food.  It also always involves stress.  And, unfortunately, stress for me means alcohol.  I probably drank more the last 10 days then I had the previous 2 months.  This all added up to 8 extra lbs on my frame.  But I'm really not the least concerned about that.

I also nailed all my workouts for the last 10 days and I'm feeling really good.  I already have 3 of those 8 lbs gone again and I've walked at least an hour the last 4 days.  I feel like I'm getting to the point I can start moving my Tri training forward.  I don't feel comfortable running on my bum knee yet but I'm going to start cycling.  If I don't soon I won't be able to look Andrea in the eye much longer.

I realized today I need to find some beginner Triathlon info.  So far, I've only been concerned with losing weight and building strength but at some point I think I might need to know what I'm doing.  If anyone has suggestions leave them in the comments.

Look Ma!  No hair!!!

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Sometimes I just don't get people...

I'm pretty excited about what I'm doing here.  I've gotten a great response from people I don't even know and thank you all for that.  I thought I would keep this a secret from people I know because it would be too embarrassing.  But I've ended up telling a number of people I know and they've been really cool and supportive about it.

This week I've told people I really care about what I'm doing and there wasn't the slightest acknowledgement.  Like I told them I had a mole removed.  I even showed them the front page and there was that blank nod of disunderstanding.  Didn't think I wanted them to know but they're complete lack of interest sort of hurts.  I just don't get how you could have a loved one tell you something they're excited about and not ask a single question.

</Self-indulgent rant>

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

In Celebration of Small Victories

This morning I was able to buckle my belt in the last hole.  The very last hole!  And I hit it by accident.  Not sucking in my belly and making up my mind to live with the pain for 8 hours.  I was like, "I wonder if I can hit that last hole this morning... Nah!  It's not worth it."  But it felt more snug and I felt around behind the buckle and holy crap if it wasn't all solid leather.

Now, that's only what? Three quarters of an inch?  But I'm going to be happy about that all day.  Maybe even the rest of the week.  Some day this week I'll go out and buy myself a fancy new smaller belt.

To some people this little achievement might seem like nothing to get excited about.  I mean, my goal is kicking ass in triathlons, right?  Well, if I only celebrate competing in my first triathlon, I've got a long wait before I can do that.  I'm going to celebrate every morning I get up and get out the door in the right frame of mind to reach that larger goal.  Every time I make a better choice when eating out.  Every day I get out and walk, then every step I take running, every crank of the pedals, every stroke in the pool.

Celebrate your small victories.  Share them unabashedly with others.  I'm going to tell a stranger today I hit the last hole in my belt.  Who cares what they think?  This one, and all the ones to come, are for me and I'm going to enjoy them.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Wow!

This has been a pretty weird couple of weeks.  I came down with a strain of what I'm sure is anthrax.  I don't think I can give all the credit to my sickness but I have lost 9 lbs. the last three weeks.  Some of the credit goes to a sea change in my way of thinking about food.

I've struggled with how I was going to write about this because I don't want to give the wrong idea.  After my last post about my weight and relationship with food, I made a conscious effort to pay attention to how my body felt all day.  I started realizing that when I felt hungry, often it was just an obsessive craving for a certain food.  That's how I would end up doing things like eating at Chinese buffets for lunch.

Once I started recognizing the difference, I realized I wasn't hungry as often as I thought I was.  Very often, a small snack of almonds and skim string cheese was enough to satisfy me for quite a while.  For maybe the first time in my life I was able to go grocery shopping on an empty stomach and not consider any poor choices for a 'snack' on the way home.

The other change I've made is stopping eating when I'm still a little hungry.  A half hour later if I'm still hungry I eat something small but, more often than not, I'm fine.  I no longer feel stuffed or sleepy after lunch.

The reason I've struggled with writing about this is I don't want anyone to think I've just stopped eating to lose weight.  I go to bed satisfied every night and I think I'm still eating between 1800 and 2000 calories a day.  The only difference is I pay closer attention to my body than my mind when it comes to eating and I don't eat to what I used to think was full.  Now I'm below 290 lbs for the first time in about 4 years.

On a side note, I have mutant crickets invading my house.

Exudes evil, amirite?
I live in the town I grew up in and I never saw a cricket like this growing up.  When I got up to use the bathroom this morning the evil menace that looked much more frightening than that was sitting in my sink.  I can only assume he used his mutant super skills to jump there from the floor.

These are what the crickets I saw as a kid looked like:


I've decided my house must have been built over top of a radioactive meteorite that has altered the ecosystem in my crawl space.

This can only mean 1 of 3 things:

  1. This mutant horde will soon take over my house and you will read about us in the Huffington Post in the near future.
  2. My memories of my childhood are unrealistic fantasies of an Eden overflowing with milk and honey.
  3. I can expect to wake up soon with super powers of my own and I need to start thinking about a superhero name.
I'll keep you posted.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Let's Get It

Joining in the spirit of Swim Bike Mom's call for openness, I weighed myself this morning and saw 297 lbs registered on the scale.  In my Buddha picture above, I weighed roughly 310 lbs.  When I was playing soccer at Kentucky Wesleyan College, I weight about 212 lbs.  A couple years later when I was pining over my future wife I got down to 195 lbs.  It's been a steady climb, since.

Thinking about my weight in that Buddha picture makes me think about the torture of traveling at my size.  It's bad enough flying for 16 hours in coach when you're 6'2", but when you're 100 lbs overweight it's so, so much worse.  I'm very aware of the space I fill when I'm crammed in with so many other people.  I watch for that look that says, "Oh, crap" when the person I'm sitting next to sees me aiming for their row.

Then there's just being in China at my size.  Almost nobody there is overweight and they're mostly very small compared to me.  They have these little plastic stools on the factory floor we can sit on during the 12 hour days we spend there.  I refuse to sit on them.  I've seen a guy break them before and he wasn't as big as me.  When I walk through the factory floor, work almost stops.  Some of it's my beard and long hair, but I hate walking around with everyone staring at my giant carcass hauling itself around the factory.

Random family in Hong Kong wanting their mom's picture with me.
Even walking around town I'm followed and stared at.  I drink a lot when I'm there.  When I tell the story about that woman taking her picture with me it's really funny, but the whole episode tears me up inside.

So, this little confessional is to let everyone who reads this know that I've been miserable and I am pretty miserable right now.  But in 6 or 8 or 12 weeks, if you come back to this blog you will see what can be done just by taking that first step, admitting how miserable you are and admitting to yourself that you want something better.

If you're reading this and you've avoided doing something because of your weight or lack of fitness, join me today and decide you deserve something better.  We all do.  Let's get it.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Blah!

Last weekend was fantastic!  Friday night we took some friends to one of my favorite campus haunts.  Had the best burger I've had in ages and a few pints of Harp.  Saturday, I started with a fantastic breakfast:

Omelette du Mexirisiatalia
It doesn't look anywhere near as tasty in that picture.  Chipotle in Adobo, mushrooms, onions, prosciutto and some double-cream havarti-like cheese It tasted so much better than that picture makes it look.  I followed that up with a kick-ass P90X workout, good long walk with the dog

My daughter Jessie and Ginny
and dinner with Bluegrass Tri Chick and her husband.  They're awesome and worked Carolyn (the wife) and me over to get us going on our fitness journeys.  Sunday I got up, tried to kill the dog with sunstroke and got in another P90 workout.

Monday morning I woke up with the creeping crud and the awesomeness screeched to a halt.
Crudus Creepiferus

I've spent the rest of this week being a big baby and adding to the big bag of crazy my wife has to deal with on a daily basis.  I hate going to the doctor but finally succumbed Friday morning.  Sinus infection.

I'm on some rockin' meds now and feeling better already.  I can't wait for tomorrow to jump up and get back into things.

EDITED: I posted this while still sick and feverish without proofreading.  Feeling much better now.